Conflict Unresolved-

WranglerConflict Unresolved-

In the past few days I have been in contact with several people who made the same statement: I don’t do conflict!

When we view conflict as dangerous, it tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we go into a conflict feeling threatened it will be much harder to deal with the problem in a way towards resolution, and we are more likely to revert to the fight or flight response.

Some causes of conflict can come from a disagreement of:

  • Values
  • Motivations
  • Perceptions
  • Idea’s
  • Desires
  • Relationships

A Conflict:

  • Is more than just a disagreement.
  • Is a situation where one or both parties perceive a threat (real or imagined)


  • Fester when ignored.
  • Perceived threat to the well-being and survival.
  • Are responded to on personal perceptions based on our life experiences, culture, values, and beliefs.
  • Trigger strong emotions. If a person cannot or will not manage their emotions, resolution will most likely be unsuccessful.
  • Are an opportunity for growth. This can lead to trust and stronger relationships. When a person is secure in the relationship, they will be better able to survive challenges and disagreements.

Resolution of Conflict:

  • Make the understanding the priority rather than winning or being right. Listen to understand before being understood.
  • Watch and listen to the other person’s feelings and then their words. Many time their feeling will reveal what their words do not.
  • Focus on the present rather than the past.
  • Be willing to let go of the resentment.
  • Be willing to agree to disagree and move on.
  • Use appropriate humor to reduce the tension and anger.

D.W.(Dick) Powell     The Leadership Wrangler






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